Does my life suck?
I woke up by 1 am and decided to catch up on Instagram for a few minutes before I go back to bed. I spent 2 hours, turning the pages of people’s Insta stories and pages. Everyone had an amazing life, except me. Some were having fun at different parties, others had just graduated from the University, some Guy had landed a modeling gig with a big firm. Basically, everyone seemed to have their lives figured out and headed in the perfect direction; except me of course.
I am among the few who are stuck in their houses on a Friday night. My life was imperfect, I am the Guy with nothing going well for him. The Guy so bored that he spends most of his time watching Instagram stories. After that 2-hours spent flipping through a lot of Instagram pages, I began to feel unworthy and mildly worthless. For some, this feeling is called depression. Come on, these are my mates taking life by the horn. A lot of folks younger than I am are doing amazing things. They have great careers, they’re switching jobs and having the time of their lives while I’m here doing nothing. I feel like my life sucks.
Now more than ever, you need a Diary.
I decided to backtrack a bit, to objectively reflect on my life. Now I remember there are a couple of people who think my life rocks. They genuinely wish they were living my life. I’m their minds, I’m the rockstar while they’re the dumpster. I know because they tell me. They tell me every time I upload a picture on my Whatsapp story and every time I post an achievement on Insta Story and whenever I attend one of those events from a top brand. I attend a lot of Exclusive events, I don’t remember the last time I paid for a show or event. VIP tickets, Backstage Access, Premium treatments, I get them for free. Sometimes I’m even paid to attend these events. This is my life, I know it sucks, but it doesn’t suck that much does it?
Would I think my life sucked at all if I kept a diary of goals and achievements? I don’t think so. In a country where people are struggling to feed themselves, food is the least of my worries. Many youths my age are job hunting, but I’m juggling a couple of businesses hoping one turns out to be the much needed big break. I’m paying people’s school fees, footing medical bills for others. When my friends run into minor financial needs, I can help them out with a few bucks. If I had a diary that showed where my life was two years ago, compared to where it is now, will I feel worthless or less of an achiever? Would I let the happiness of others undermine mine? I doubt it. No, I won’t.
My Life rocks.
I say this, not because I have it all rosy, but because no one has a rosy life. My life rocks because I am running my race and getting better by the day. I am not where I used to be and yet I’m going places. I have a great life because I haven’t lost the power to dream. Creativity still runs in me. There are people who love and genuinely admire me and my efforts. Some people point at me in their closets and wish to be me, I am their role model. What people post or don’t post on their social media pages is their personal affair. How far they have come is their personal journey, I don’t know their story and I don’t know their pain. I won’t compare their beautiful lives with the amazing one God has gifted me. Their success is not a measure of my failure.
Every time I look at the man in the mirror, I see a lot of unachieved dreams, a truckload of ambition, a future laden with obstacles and uncertainties. But this is my life, I absolutely love it, I’m owning it and as long as God deems me fit to have breath in my nostrils, I’m living this life to the best of my ability and for all I care, my imperfect, broke, ugly, and not-so-popping life is the best life out there.
Whoever you are reading this, I don’t know Jack about your life, but I know it’s not perfect. I also know that if you look hard enough, your life doesn’t suck as much as you think. Maybe, if you really are sincere with yourself, your life doesn’t even suck at all.