How a Babe changed my name to Indomie because I came too quick – Anonymous

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short sex

A couple of years ago when mans was not hot, I had this babe and we had a thing going but she didn’t want to smash. I tried convincing babe but nah she wasn’t having any of it. Something about not wanting to smash too much before getting married as she already gave her ex. So it was like my head is forbidding knacks abi?  I kept hoping. Plenty market days went by, my neighbor’s children resumed school, shaved pubic hairs rejuvenated.

Days became months and I hadn’t smashed, but I kept hoping that one day one day monkey would go to the market and not return (probably the wrong Little arguments would pop up when I brought the topic of sex up. It was an “Aiye mi temi bami” situation. That was how I got lucky one midnight as we were having a long conversation on one of the mobile networks midnight calls. I was a bad guy with this thing back in the day like some of us; your smashing depended on how well you stimulated her at night. I was good, I had bars. She got wet and couldn’t wait; she wanted me to do it to her right away. I was so in there. Ono ti shi (the way had been paved) so I knew if I let it slip, the chances of sleeping with her would slip away. I had to take it.

short sex

This was about 4:30 am so at 5:00, I sneaked out of the house dressed in my running gear (so e go be like say man go jog). Did I mention she was a few houses away? Deep sigh. I later heard in the morning that Armed robbers were around the area around the time I was going to disgrace my family name. Oh yea I still have to finish. So I got to her gate and she came to open quietly, blood was pumping in my heart. What if her neighbor, my church members start going to church at that time based on Ministers.

I tried to stay calm and focus on the job, the hand job I was getting. I didn’t make it past this stage. The thing went skrrrrr raaa papakaka . Mo tu si lara (came on her body). I collected my Kini back and ran, I was dressed for it .she stopped picking my calls, she had cum on her dress and I had regrets. We saw years later and had a good laugh. She said she had my name changed to raw indomie. At least indomie takes 3 minutes. Thank God there is Samsu oil now.

This story was sent in by an anonymous Twitter User. Got a funny or interesting story to share? send it to me via email to


Favour Onyeoziri

Favour has interests which span across creative writing, advertising, and Digital Marketing. He holds a BA.Ed in Education and History from the University of Lagos, Nigeria. He is a published Poet, a practicing Advert Copywriter, a social media marketing expert, and Influencer. Oops, lest we forget, he loves comedy too and is better known as the Memes master on Twitter where his memes have constantly lightened up the mood of hundreds of thousands of people daily.

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