These tips are from one of the funniest Twitter accounts in Nigeria (@TunnyKing). This Dude is also a professional at farting in public, he was caught a couple of times when he first started, but after over 22 years in the farting business, he has these tips to give anyone who decides to fart in public and wants to get away with it. It’s written in Pidgin English though and I’m far too lazy to translate to proper grammar.

This 11 steps will help you fart in public & still get away with it.

 

This thread will help you fart in public & still get away with it. It’s in Pidgin English to help convey the message effectively.

Kindly RT

— Tunde ⚓ (@Tunnyking) June 22, 2017

 

1. As the mess just catch you, jejely survey the area first with ur eyes, especially if na inside class, bank, bus. Sorfa say people plenty pic.twitter.com/lc8L5QEeL5

— Tunde ⚓ (@Tunnyking) June 22, 2017

 

2. Act like a gentleman man or a cute lass, no smile o… Just dey neutral 😑 pic.twitter.com/dzgF9RdQ0C

— Tunde ⚓ (@Tunnyking) June 22, 2017

 

3. If the people around you dey discuss join dem, but if not just feel free. Press phone or do something to keep you busy. pic.twitter.com/NiHtupi33V

— Tunde ⚓ (@Tunnyking) June 22, 2017

 

4. Now sit tight… You fit cross your leg if you be girl. (For easy releasing of the nuclear bomb) 😭😭😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/zF6ybGEXnF

— Tunde ⚓ (@Tunnyking) June 22, 2017

 

5. Now raise one part of ur yansh slowly like Glo network.Then release small first to know if na mess wey go make noise(Still dey form busy) pic.twitter.com/pkhAQs1frM

— Tunde ⚓ (@Tunnyking) June 22, 2017

 

6. If na the type wey dey make noise, suppress am small by pressing your abdominal muscles. 😭😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/ticF3oQTb3

— Tunde ⚓ (@Tunnyking) June 22, 2017

 

7. Now allow the fart go out with total freedom, make e circulate wella. (Keep acting busy. Afterall nothing concern you.) 😭😭 pic.twitter.com/mkoNdunXdv

— Tunde ⚓ (@Tunnyking) June 22, 2017

 

8. People go begin make comments like;

“hmmmm, fuuun, who messs?”
“Some people wicked o. .”
“Na wa ooo, for this heat.” 😭😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/hOek1Uv0ox

— Tunde ⚓ (@Tunnyking) June 22, 2017

 

9. Just say…
“Ahhhhh! e never smell reach my side, but who be that kind wicked person naa”. 😂😭😂😭😂 pic.twitter.com/ZpMHw2oHh6

— Tunde ⚓ (@Tunnyking) June 22, 2017

 

10. As plenty people don perceive am, you self join the crowd dey complain on how bad the mess dey smell. Nobody go suspect you 👍👍👍 pic.twitter.com/ghJOSGvIV5

— Tunde ⚓ (@Tunnyking) June 22, 2017

 

11. But if nobody complain. U sef keep quiet, form busy and focus. No time for dulling abeg. 😂😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/5oJmRe1I3H

— Tunde ⚓ (@Tunnyking) June 22, 2017

 

After going through this thread, you may want to thank me by helping me but I don’t need your help… My bank account does. pic.twitter.com/oKlVGwsOfS

— Tunde ⚓ (@Tunnyking) June 22, 2017

was the post worth the read, was it funny enough, was it boring? please share your feedbacks in the comment section. Thank You

Click on this LINK to read the text version of the steps above (the text version doesn’t have these memes/images attached to it, just text)