For those of us who were not born with a silver spoon, living without a personal car has become a lifestyle, but as one grows older, you begin to get tired of the not-so-comfortable life you’re living. I for one am tired of this car-less life, haba! people that have cars were not born with two heads na. Anyways here are my 10 reasons why I need to buy a car as soon as I can pick a bag full of money somewhere soon.
1. Those who play loud music in a bus: As strange as this may seem, I’ve been in several buses where someone who feels the earphone is a useless invention decides to blast music from their phone’s loudspeaker. It’s also interesting to note that such people usually do not play the kind of music that appeals to a broad audience, instead, they would rather play some traditional music known only to them, their families and maybe their townsmen. This kind of people are also incorrigible, the best thing to do is just pretend not to be aware of their folly, because any attempt to complain will be met with a serious backlash, a backlash that will come well garnished with insults in their native dialect, insults that can kill the living and raise the dead.
2. people who splash water on me: For some unknown reason, since my Childhood days, I’ve never felt bad whenever someone splashes water on me. Growing up, I’ve come to back this up with the rationale that whatever happened has happened, feeling bad will neither reverse the water splashed nor will it dry clean my clothes on the spot. However, I’ve fully resolved to do my own back when I eventually buy my own car. If you’re yet to buy a Car, please start working towards it immediately, because the chances of me splashing mud water on you if you’re still a pedestrian when I buy mine is very high.
3. passengers who are decorated with body odour: Imagine waking up in the morning, getting dressed and spraying some nice perfume only to step into a bus and realise at the door that the Conductor doesn’t believe in bathing, then, before you can properly settle down between the two people on your right and left, your nose suddenly catches drift of some foul smell, you stylishly check if it’s coming from both your armpits, but you can only perceive the fragrance of your sweet perfume. Finally, you turn to the suspect by the right and your nose vindicates him, then to the Oga by your left, only to realise that the dude is blessed with the gift of smell. At this point, you can only pray that there will be no traffic gridlock on the road, because if there’s any, your nose may be sorely damaged before you get to your destination.
4. people who gas/pollute the air: So there is a special group of people who have perfected the art of dropping atomic bombs so silently and carefully that you would never suspect them. The real problem, however, is not finding out who the suspect is, the problem is that it smells anyways. Once they drop this killer gas in a bus or other forms of public transportation, it spreads like wildfire and before you know what’s happening, you’re already inhaling someone’s 3-day old beans that refused to digest. Nyamaaaaa, who mess?
5. To get my fair share of the government road: I’m honestly tired of motorists making me feel like a foreigner without rights in my own country. You could practically spend the whole day at a Zebra crossing and no one will stop for you to cross. Even when you’re quietly walking on the pedestrian side of the road, some crazy Drivers would nearly hit you, because there’s traffic and they feel pedestrians don’t have any right to exist on any part of the road. Have I mentioned those Drivers who terrorize pedestrians with their car horns? you’d be walking gently to your destination and someone who is not even close to you will keep blaring his horns as if the ultimate aim is to deafen you. Let’s not forget those who are addicted to their headlights abi headlamp. You’d just be in one dark corner of the street with a Babe and someone will park behind you, put on his headlights in full and pretend as if it’s a bunch of wooden frames and not humans that He’s pointing the lights at. Mehn, I just need my own car sooon!
I hope to update this post with another 5 reasons before the weekend runs out. Meanwhile, this evening you have the chance to share your own reasons for wanting a Car. Don’t tell me you don’t want a personal car too, when it’s not swear that they swear for you. So This evening, by 7:30pm, let’s all turn up on Twitter to share those funny experiences that have made buying a car top on our list of priorities. Till then, drop a nice comment below, a comment will not kee you.